The Jester drops a letter

So as I was reading my fan mail this morning before we hit the field for a scrimmage, I came across this one from the Jester:

Dear Nick,

Can you please refer to me by name? The press has forgotten me, and I'm worried that so will the recruits. Next thing you know the AD and Prez will be getting tracked by their plane on their way to find a new coach.

Peace out, Tommy Tuberville

Ok, so Tubs, let's get one thing clear. I'm not "Nick." you'll address me as "King Saban." You can also call me "King Nicholas" if you like. But as long as I allow you to be in my state, you'll be the Jester. (I did notice your parents named you "Thomas Hawley Tuberville," so clearly I'm trying to help you out - did you parents not like you?)

I do have issue with something you said in the paper the other day. I think it was along the lines of "as good as we've been, we don't rebuild, we just transition." Are you kidding? Dude, you're Auburn. You guys have won one SEC Championship in the last five years. So have I, and I've been out of the league three years. In fact, I did some checkin. Auburn has only won one more SEC Championship than Georgia Tech ever, and those engineers haven't even been in the conference since Cokes were a nickel. "Transition." Ha. More like a transition to court jester now that I've arrived.

Tubs, don't worry about recruits forgetting who you are, it's already happened. I've got verbal commitments from about 200 athletes at this point. Mal says I'm not allowed to make "direct contact," so I'm learning this text message thing Nutt has gotten so good at. Perhaps you should be more concerned with helping your recruits learn their ABCs than with whether you've become "Mr. Irrelevant" in this state. Roll Bama.