Folks, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I'm more relaxed than a dude who just knocked down a fifth. I mean, I'm the King, and check out all this:
Notre Dame is 0-2
Michigan is 0-2
Auburn is 1-1, and lucky for that
Tennessee is 1-1, soon to be 1-2
And we're 2-0!
All the stars are lining up. My running game is tremendous, and we have Mt. Text Message coming to town today. Ok, I know you've been waiting for this. Here's the day's breakdown:
'Bama fans started arriving by all kinds of vehicles on Thursday. By kickoff on Saturday night, there will be 92,000 drunk rednecks in the stands. Saban Field at Bryant Denny Stadium will be electric. Even more electric than opening night. This is SEC football.
I'm guessing this will be a tough tilt. We'll be up something like 12-7 at half time. Good ole Leigh Tiffin will belt some field goals. I'll get interviewed by one of those stupid sideline reporters on the way to the locker room where I will moan about our lack of touchdown production.
In the second half, the stadium will just become bedlam. ESPN2 will show me on TV a bazillion times pacing the sidelines. The Nutt will get his team the lead, but then we'll swing back and pull away. Check this out: we score a couple of TDs late, and win 26-14. Mr. Nutt, have a safe drive back to Kansas or Arkansas or wherever.
Roll Bama.
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