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Apparently, Lester would like the fan base in Cajun Country to dress like some of his players. Check out this pict sent to us from Holly in Baton Rouge. Team colors and everything.
Roll Bama.

Wow, I can't believe it

As we head to Saban Bowl I, all I've heard is how pissed off the "LSU Nation" is at me for coming back to college football. Maybe it's just a bunch of bullcrap from the media. I mean, come on, they never mislead their readership with an exaggeration of the facts, do they? Well, Mal says I'm liked by everybody. And I guess this means LSU Nation. Check out this shot from Debra in Tuscaloosa - looks like they miss me.
Roll Bama.

It's my birthday; my gift to Les Miles

You know, somebody told me that Lester was feeling a little blue at all the attention I'm getting leading up to this game. After all, his birthday is in a couple of weeks. I decided that I should honor this where all good things come together in the Universe. Kinda like Crimson Carma.

So I sent him this autographed picture. More importantly, I left him a little note that you can't read on the image here. But it says, "Dear Lester, Best Wishes. Maybe you'll experience the feeling of this photograph at your next coaching job. Yours Truly, King Nick."

Roll Bama.

It's my Birthday Today. And Halloween. Scary stuff.

This has been a great year for the King, no doubt. Today I'm turning 56, so don't forget to send cards and letters. No gifts are required. Mal game me four million of those a year last January, and frankly, just having to watch Les Miles squirm on the sideline of Saban Field at Bryant Denny Stadium this weekend is gift enough.

Saban Bowl I Mania heats up

Folks, it's almost that time. While drinking my Sabamoca this morning, I decided to take the New York Times back to the throne for a sit-down. There it is - front page of the sports section, yet another story on the insecurity of the LSU coach and fan base. I know I'm the King, but this is even a little bit bigger than the Tuscaloosa News.

This quote from LSU fan Linda Hendricks caught my eye: “He could have been governor. He could have been president. Now he’s a traitor. He’s not even sexy anymore.”

Uh, Linda, if you have deep enough pockets in the state of Louisiana, you can be anything you want. Last I saw, most of it is like Lester's house is gonna be in a month or so: for sale. And Linda, you know I'm sexy.

These poor LSU fans, I just don't get it. They were losers before I got there. I brought them a championship, and unbelievable athletes. They can't even enjoy all the winning while they have it. Before long, 'Bama will rule the SEC West again, and LSU championships will be nothin but a memory.

Roll Bama.

Textbooks? Who needs 'em

So I guess by now you've heard: my boys are so interested in class that they were caught with extra textbooks. Hey, they are just trying to quench their thirst for knowledge. Reminds me of an email I received last week from Bobbie Jane in Andalusia. I'm not suggesting that all 'Bama fans can't spell, I'm just sayin.... these dudes can come party at my house any time.

Mal says I'll probably get a letter from our Director of Media Relations for this, but after beating the Hell out of Pumpkin Boy, he doesn't seem to care what I do. Benefits of being the King.


Roll Bama.

Some Cajun Hunting

Much love to Cindy Lou from Baton Rouge for this shot. I feel like there is much to say about this photo, but I'm guessin the picture says it all.

By the way, did ya'll hear that comment I made about the upcoming game "being all about the players" and not about the coaches at all? Ok, that is crap. I wanted to say the right thing. Mal said I should. But truthfully, for my own self gratification, I hope we kick LSU's ass. How great would it be to take LSU players and beat 'Bama 3 years ago, then turn around and beat those LSU players with my 'Bama kids on November 3? Says something about my great coaching.

I hope Les Miles goes for about 8 first downs on fourth down in a couple of weeks.

Roll Bama.

I'm calling it Saban Bowl

It's true, I am the King, but I had no idea how good it felt to beat the Pumpkin Boy from Saban Field at Bryant Denny. Holy crap, that was such a beating that it was as if Bear Bryant himself was on the sideline. Except he wasn't. I was. The King.

Of course I had my boys ready to play. For starters, I was tired of hearing that bullcrap all week out of Ole Miss about that replay. The guy was out of bounds, and you suck, ok? You are Ole Miss. Understand your place in the Kingdom.

Second, it was Tennessee. We all know how Pumpkin shredded this program with the NCAA (thus creating my throne for me down the road). His miscalculation was that a coach worth a damn would be worthy enough to win and clean up the mess he helped create. I'm convinced the orange porker was behind this textbook mess last week right before game time.

In case you haven't noticed, we're #1 in the SEC West and play Lester's bunch in two weeks here in T-town. It's very confusing: all these folks in Louisiana have these anti-Saban t-shirts. Don't they remember I actually won a national title there? Coach Cajun Potty Mouth truly has no brains, and will surely screw this season up for the state of Louisiana. Come on, that touchdown pass in the waning seconds against Auburn wasn't brave, it was stupid. All he needed was a field goal. And if his boy had bobbled it, Auburn wins, and the LSU Chancellor sticks a "for sale" sign in Lester's front yard.

Ok, enough about all that. We have a big game in two weeks. I'm calling it Saban Bowl. Yeah, that's right. Kinda like Super Bowl, only bigger. None of the Lincoln Abe Financial crap for a start time either. 5pm in the afternoon, so plenty of time for all of you to get tanked up before game time.

Sabamania. Saban Bowl. Beating LSU. It's that happy Carma where all good things in life come together at once. Lester Miles, SIUYA.

Roll Bama.

Welcome me back King Saban

Yes, it's been a few weeks and another loss since we last got together. Truth is, I've been busy planning for the second half of the season with little time for fanfare. And, of course, losin kinda sucks. I keep telling the media freps to lay off, but they insist on stirring up controversy down here. In the meantime, thanks for all the emails.

I think our boys are making some nice strides. We don't know how to play 60 minutes yet, but I expect that to improve as the season ebbs on.

On a lighter note, did ya'll see ol Lester yesterday? Dude lost to Kentucky. A team that wears all blue uniforms. LSU gets to #1 for exactly one week for the first time since Moses walked the earth before Coach Cajun Potty Mouth squirrels away a two-touchdown lead at Kentucky in the fourth quarter. Those media guys were all about "Saban who" after their "big" win over Florida. Funny, they can't go a week down there without talking about what a great job I did while I was coaching there. I don't think LSU lost to Kentucky while I was there.

Wonder what bowl LSU is headed to after they finish third in the SEC West? Music City? I'm guessin LSU Alums already have the jet fueled up for Lester's moved to Ann Arbor.

It's Pumpkin week. Nope, not Halloween. It's Fulmer in Tuscaloosa. Let the Sabanoia begin. Lincoln Abe Financial, start kissing my butt if you want an interview. Can't believe those freps at CBS chose Kentucky vs Florida over the Third Saturday in October. Morons. Don't they know we keep our fans glued to their seats until the buzzer every single week?

Auburn, LSU, and Tennessee. And CBS. SIUYA.

Roll Bama.

Some "sharing" at Free Shoes U.

Ok folks, I know Bobby is a "saint," but give me a break. Things are beginning to get a little loose over in Tallahassee. Check out this quote from Florida State prez T.K. Wetherell:

"I'm pretty comfortable," Wetherell said about the investigation. "I'm more concerned at this point with what I don't know than with what I do know. Some of those 23 may come off the list. Whether somebody else goes on, that's the kind of stuff we're running down now. It may go up by a few or down by a few."

Dude, if that's not a definition for "lack of institutional control," I don't know what is. Sounds like the guy is covering his own ass right and left. It could be more, it could be less, I'm kinda worried, but not, blah blah blah.

Folks, let me translate this for you. He's scared out of his pants that about half the football team is gonna get busted for cheating before Bobby gets run out of.. I mean, retires.

Roll Bama.

King Nick.

Bowden as Moses

Much love and Crimson Carma to Cindy Sue from Jacksonville for this shot. Apparently, Bobby has been around for a while.You know, you really have to like this guy. Bill Curry of all people got the 'Bama job instead of him, and yet he seems to harbor no ill feelings. I hope he still shakes my hand after we drum the 'Noles.

Roll Bama.

The Auburn Way?

Folks, I crap you not, this is an actual photograph. I can't look at this without hearing banjos and wondering who is about to "squeal like a pig."
Thanks to Jimmy from Opp for mailing this shot in. Is this an example of the Auburn strength and conditioning program? Or which one is Jester? No wonder they lost to Mississippi State. Discuss.

Roll Bama.

Attention Fans

Ok, I'm only gonna say this once. Cause Mal says I need to say something about class. Don't throw crap at the opponents - even if they act like they've won only one championship ever, and are acting like they are humping each other wildly in your direction. It's best just to let them finish. And to whoever threw the Jim Beam, at least finish the stuff before letting the bottle go.

For gosh sakes, we're not Auburn. Cause if we were, we would have pulled out the fire hoses.

And to Georgia fans chanting "we want Florida" after the game: really? Haven't you guys only beaten them twice in about 100 years? Folks, they have a linebacker playing QB.

Roll Bama.

Sunday Morning After: Spike the Sabamoca

Comrades, legions of fans, disreputable journalists: yes, I have to admit, the loss last night to Georgia was a tough one to swallow. But before we let the media tell us "we told you so," let's take a moment to reflect on where we are, and where we're going:

Then:
'Bama finished 6-7 last year, and had no comeback wins in six years
Talk of Championships had been replaced with talks of thumbs and strip clubs

Now:
We're 3-1, sit second in the SEC West, and still control our own destiny to an SEC title
Our expectations are focused on what we want from our team on the field
This is a building block to a championship

In a sense, I'm glad that 'Bama nation hurts so much this morning. It means that the football team matters, and that we now expect to win versus hoping to win.

Interesting read by Pat Forde this morning, the ESPN super genius. While I was reading his column this morning while firmly perched on the porcelain throne, I had to get a good chuckle out of his article. Last fall he got pissed because we didn't let him scoop that I was coming to 'Bama. He then called me a "Liar" in his January column after I took the job - apparently Forde tells ESPN every time he interviews with a competing news service. This morning he seems to take glee in his column that Sabanation and my coronation as King will have to wait. Even though it's clear I'm King already, and things at 'Bama are different now. Moron.

Attention Pat Forde and other journalists who seem to take some strange joy in the people of Alabama feeling a bit hurt after this loss: 'Bama is back. We're 3-1 with an OT loss to Georgia. Before the season most of you "pundits" thought we'd finish fourth in the division behind LSU, Arkansas, and Auburn. Have you even looked at the standings this morning? And by the way, have you sniffed your way around the Houston Nutt leaves Arkansas, Tommy Tuberville takes his place, and Les Miles goes to Michigan stories? Are they all liars too, or is this journalistic morals by convenience?

Pat Forde, get out of your hypocritical pulpit - either become a journalist, or stop insulting the rest of the profession by calling yourself one. Friends of Sabanator (FoS), you can reach Pat Forde at ESPN4D@aol.com. Tell him King Saban said to kiss his.... ok, Mal said to stop.

The Georgia game is now history. Let's get ready for Florida State. King out.

Roll Bama.

Game Day: Georgia

The mystery is solved. The Dawgs closed their practices this week because I worked for Belichick. Mark, you're so clever to have figured that out. It did make getting our cameras and microphones into their huddles a bit more challenging. But we finally just offered the waterboy $10 bucks and he snapped this shot.

All you can say is "wow." The Georgia team has decided that arranging little dudes on the electric football table is the way to go. Mark, you seem swuft, but I can tell you Gilberry is gonna get to Stafford a whole lot quicker than the electric end.

The other item of note is all the moaning by Georgia fans about the 6:45 pm start. Are you kidding me? Focusing on spyin and game times ain't gonna get it done for Georgia. What about some focus on the game itself?

Folks, it's electric here in Tuscaloosa. GameDay is set-up over near the stadium. You can hear the ESPN dudes doing their thing, and there is the distinct smell of bourbon in the air. It's not even noon. Reminds me of Baton Rouge, except we've won a bunch more titles here.

All I will say about last week is that it was last week. It's time to continue this march towards a championship. If you thought you saw wrinkles from us against Arkansas, you ain't seen nothing yet. I was so inspired by watching Jester's collapse last week against Mississippi State that I came up with some fun stuff for the Dawgs.

I'm expecting the crowd to be louder than it ever has. I don't think the Dawgs will try to distract us with circus tricks as Mal said earlier this week, but check out this shot of Richy Richt. Clown-like? Expect us to get up on the Dawgs early, and deliver the knock-out punch. Looks like he had a V-8.

Ok, I'm finishing getting ready. Believe it or not, I've agreed to go get interviewed by Corso and Company over on ESPN GameDay. I've had my coffee, I'm dressed in the suit, and am ready to go continue this feel-good tour that started three weeks ago. Terry says this is not about football today. It's about Carma. Crimson Carma.

Roll Bama.

Game preview coming; King Saban in AJC this morning

So I'm drinking my Sunday morning Sabamoca on Saturday morning. You know, I feel like a champion today. The press not only has stopped calling me a liar, they've gotten on the 'Bama bandwagon and see me as the next coming of the Bear. Did you see the article in the Atlanta-Journal Constitution this morning about the King Saban blog? Holy crap. My butt is getting smooched more than a monkey in heat.

So here's how it went down. Right after I made Corso do wind sprints to get an interview, the AJC wanted to send Barnhart into the interview room - again. I had already chatted this guy up, and frankly was a little over it. But the AJC insisted. They said, ok, what about Furman Bisher. Helllll no. Bisher is about 800 years old, but he wrote an article for the Saturday Evening Post in the 1960s accusing Paul Bryant and Wally Butts of rigging a game. Guess what? King Bear won $400,000 in damages. What a moron.

Running out of time, and annoyed, I looked over and saw this kid in the corner. "I want that guy," I said. Carter Strickland of the AJC? Yep, bring the young wingnut over here. The following is a transcript of that interview, pieces of which appeared in the morning paper.

Tell me about rebuilding the confidence in the Alabama program and what you have done that has allowed fans to believe in you and your style of coaching?

Basically I walked in and reminded folks about who they are. It's like Reagan did back in 1980 - he said, "Hey, we're America, and we don't suck." After reminding them that they are Alabama, and have won numerous championships, I made it clear that I was in charge and the buck ($4m of them) stops with me. It was interesting last Saturday night - when I chose to go for the field goal late in the game, there was some grumbling in the stands because the last few years have been so tough around here. You know what? I knew my boys could do it, told them they could do it, and they did. I'm guessing that's the end of grumbling for a bit.

Why is winning football so important to Alabama?

I think it really gets back to family and Southern roots. What people forget is that Alabama was a football power even before the Bear came along. It was a metaphor for the people of the state on a national level, which basically said, "hey, we're as good as you are, and we can compete on an even playing field." That still holds true today. We may be 49th in our test scores, but our QBs are as good as yours.

What are you going to do to Georgia?

I really wanted to tell him how we'd bend Georgia over and make girly dawgs out of them, and..... Mal nudged me when he saw the look in my eye and shook his head no. I usually don't do the game preview until the end of the week, but I will tell you this. Any thoughts from the press that my boys can't pull that emotional level again is just plain wrong. The energy level in this town this week is unbelievable. I'm not gonna pull any of that "Is Georgia Man Enough" crap, because they are a well-coached team. But I'd be surprised if we didn't jump on them early.

Are the expectations too much? And are the goals to unrealistic? I mean you already have people talking national title. And everybody expects Bama to be 8-0 when they pay LSU.

I've been asked this question by Corso and Barnhart already this week. You come to The University of Alabama precisely for these expectations. I think the enthusiasm the people of the state of Alabama are showing for this University, this team, and my family is unbelievable. Now there is a big difference between the fans, and our approach. This is about a process. You don't just become a champion, you have to establish building blocks to a championship. And this Saturday night will be another block to that end.

What took so long for Alabama to wise up and hire you?

That's a tough one to answer. Ok, I knew the answer was that the place was being run by a bunch of drunken sailors, but I had to be nice. To be honest, it's been a bit of a circus over here since Gene Stallings left. And when they married Shula, they really wanted that marriage to work out. It probably cost them a chance at Spurrier, but all the better for me. Have you noticed there's an extra place for the next coaching statue at Bryant Denny? Right next to Bear.

Who anointed you king?

Was Napoleon anointed King? Negative. No one really anoints you King. Good story, though. I did make it clear before we signed the contract that I was in charge, and folks would have to deal with it. Running a football program is not a democracy - and the real problem The University had over the last few years is that they tried to run it like one. Mal Moore said, "So this makes you King?" We both looked over at Paul Jr. and he nodded his head. So I looked back at Mal, told him yes, and to put that in my contract.

Do you prefer King Saban or St. Nick?

While St. Nick is nice at Christmas, I prefer King Saban.

Cartman Strickler, great butt-kissing material. You can have another interview.

Roll Bama.

The Unemployment Line

Much Crimson Carma to Keith H. from somewhere in Alabama for this shot. I wonder where these two wonderlichs will end up next year? Feel free to captionate on this one. Discuss.

Roll Bama.

Auburn People Follwing the Tide

I have to take a little timeout from all the Sabanoia talk to share a public service announcement. Apparently, Auburn fans are so distraught with the start of the season that they've decided there is only one game left: the one in November against the 'Bama and the King.

Unfortunately, they are now travelling in their homes from town to town watching 'Bama games to help Jester spy on us. I'm not so worried about a lesser team getting an advantage by seeing my boys up close during practice. But I am concerned with what the local health department calls "unsanitary conditions." My advice is to avoid the area behind Shoney's Big Boy on McFarland Boulevard, and you're probably fine.

Roll Bama.

Georgia Peek-a-boo

I'm not gonna lie, I'm as curious as anyone as to what Richt is doing behind the big green fences over in Athens. Sabanoia. One of our undercover agents just emailed me this shot:

Now, this brings a couple of questions to mind. Is the plan to distract my team with circus tricks from the Georgia mascot? Or, is this an example of what the Georgia offensive line will do when my big defensive ends come running through the line to eat the quarterback?

Mal says this is all playing right into my hands. Georgia is so distracted by the King's mere presence that their focus is not even on the game. Mal thinks they are gonna try the circus trick thing.

The University PR people said the servers nearly collapsed yesterday with all the traffic to my blog. With the ESPN blow hards in town and the Sabanoia in Athens, Sabamania is skyrocketing. Speaking of which, excuse me, I gotta go sit down with Corso and Herby. Mal reminds me to be nice top Corso. We'll see. I'd love to see that dude do some wind sprints.

Roll Bama.

Word for the day: Sabanoia

Ok boys and girls, I'm not Gumby, but I do have a new word for the day: Sabanoia

Sabanoia: (sb-noi) noun. 1. A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution that might or might not strike your football team if you are not on King Saban's side, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.

Let's use this in a sentence. Maybe two sentences. Auburn people, this is still on one hand, so you should be able to count that high.

With Mark Richt suffering from Sabanoia, he closed football practice cause he doesn't know what else to do. He thinks his team could get beat, and has no idea how to stop it.

It can also impact other coaches in your league who are not playing you that week.

Sabanoia is flowing like water in Auburn. As a result, Jester is trying to figure out how to blame Nick Saban's arrival for his team's complete collapse.

Folks, camera's are not necessary when you are the best coach in all the land. King out.

Roll Bama.